i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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