I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
