You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
