you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
