How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
handjob tips. give me some.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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