Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
