I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
