I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
