we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
