Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
