Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
