the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
