Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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