A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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