Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
