You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
