he told me I talked like a deaf person
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
