Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
