It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
