I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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