i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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