Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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