There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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