All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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