i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
