I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
