this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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