He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
high people should be assigned attendants
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
