where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
