dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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