so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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