My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
