After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
