This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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