Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
