have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
His hands were made for my vagina.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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