I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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