I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
