yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
do herpes really smell.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
