She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
