if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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