Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
