party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
