he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
