so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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