yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
