I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
