dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i came on her dog
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
