Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
