ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
